Sleazyjet proprietor and airplane safety maverick Steel Helium-Panther announced this evening that his airline would now be offering one way tickets out of the UK for £1 per person and 50p for foxes.
The announcement came after David ‘I’ve been sent to the future to make life so shit that it was the only way that I could have been born in the first place’ Cameron returned to Downing Street to play his role in something that so hideously plagiarises the Empire from Star Wars I’m sure that George Lucas could sue.
Steel Helium-Panther announced that with white papers such as this being discussed he predicts that a mass of people who are poor, disabled, unemployed, elderly, a student, dying or alive or anyone who earns under £12,500 a year will want to get out of the country as soon as possible.
“David Cameron has been victimising the poor and the vulnerable deliberately and carelessly. It’s as if he thinks that by leaving Iain Duncan Smiff to his own devids at the DWP he can deny all accountability for the undeniable blood he has on his hands. I realised today that people will no doubt want to get out of this sorry state of a country and so I introduced a £1 one-way flight out of here. You can even pay it over a couple of weeks at zero interest because honestly I don’t blame anyone who books this flight!”
At the moment we do not know if anyone has booked one of these great deals yet but what we do know is that the next five years are going to be no picnic for any of the aforementioned people and probably more! We need unification and community spirit now more than ever because it is time for the people of this country to stand up to this oppressive government that is going to destroy this country to the point where it won’t matter who wins the next election, it will be too late.
Also flights leave from:
Trumpton International Airport
Truro Happy Flight Terminal
The A48 between Blakeney and Lydney
The A449 between Ross and Monmouth