The questionable love child of Mr. Bean and a member of the N.C.F Count Nigelstein has risen from the dead by unresigning! Nigelstein suffered a miserable defeat in South Thanet and chose to resign stating “my job here is done, I set out to make myself look a twat and I have now achieved it. There is no further reason for me to be in politics because the title of twat is all I required”.
However other UKIP twat wannabes objected to the deactivation of the Nigelstein and opted to up his twat quota and throw him back into the political world. One UKIP ‘Spokesperson’ said (well, not so much said but more yawned out in a seriously of caveman like grunts): At the end of the day we don’t feel that our twat potential is at it’s peak, I just have to say that foreigners should go elsewhere and the french are pompus and that is a political concern for all us whitalist men who do jobs and at the end of the day, I just have to say that so far the Nigelstein has been the most efficient way for us to gain twathood and at the end of the day the Nigelstein was British made, probably”.
A lot of people are livid at Nigelstein’s return because of the damage he did to the lovable racism of old people that we’ve come to love. A concern Nan said “My husband has always bonded with the children with the odd racist joke, not because it is racialist but because it’s funny. Then the UKIPs sent Nigelstein onto the political wigwam and now my husband has nothing to say to the kids. It is a terrible time to be old and funny”.
We will bring you more as the scene unfolds!