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Balls Bring Blues

Camelot, the company that owns and runs The National Lottery today announced that it will be adding an additional ten balls to the Lottery game. The company has claimed this change to be an ‘enhancement’ announcing that would create more millionaires in the long run. Personally, I think that this is the exact opposite of what they should be doing, all they are going to achieve so creating more wankers because let’s face it if you win £200 million pounds you’re going to be an over night cunt, I know I would be.

Calling this change is an obviously weak and unsubstantiated way of trying to cover up the fact that it’s about saving money, or even making money. If Camelot are going to have more rollovers (which they will as the odds of winning are now 1 in 45 million) how much interest are they likely to gain off of the millions of pounds that they have tucked?

I don’t understand why they don’t make it easier for more people to win smaller prizes. Rather than give one individual £129 million pounds allowing them to either be hounded into moving house and changing their names by desperate locals, why not give 129 people the chance to win a million pounds each? I believe that they are far more likely to spend more of that money in the country (our country that has had the austerity disease for quite some time now) than anyone with £129 million pounds would. Money is relative and no matter how much you win whether it’s five pounds or a thousand, when you’re dirt broke it is like a blessing. It’s the difference between being able to buy bread AND milk or paying off that provident loan that you so reluctantly took out to cover Christmas.

If I won ten grand tomorrow I would pay my bills, upgrade my car and go shopping. I’d probably give some to my mum and sister as well because I’m a soft bastard like that. It would be gone in no time but my bills would be paid and I’d have a lovely fresh slate to start again from and given my more recent disciplines I am ‘better’ (slightly) with money than I was.

I think a lot of people would be like that. But if you gave them £129 million pounds (an inconceivable amount) it will change them over night, because that is the power of money. If it doesn’t change them then what was the point in playing the lottery! The worst kind of winner is one that doesn’t use the prize! ARGH!

If I won £129 million tomorrow my inner dickhead would probably get the better of me and rather than be broke at the end of the month I’d probably just be dead.

The National Lottery is a pyramid scheme within the pyramid scheme of life itself.

About DukeofEarl (74 Articles)
Co-founder and author for The Shonk. Site administrator and general human.

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