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Free UKIP T-shirts ensure BBQ Fuel for All!

Burn it, Rip it, Just don't wear it!

Nigel Surname-of-ambiguous-non-UK-origin Farage has had so much money donated to him by deluded racist fuckwits that he can now offer a free T-shirt with to every daft twat that signs up to the UKIP newsletter.

BUT! Here’s the thing, we should ALL be signing up and getting these free T-shirts. But why would I want such a ghastly garment that I would never, ever wear ever because I’m not a thick as shit, knuckle dragging, xenophobic megatwat?

Well, each and every T-shirt is going to cost the UKIPs money, so for every T-shirt they have to send they have to pay for it. When it arrives just think of the uses! Here are some that I think would be popular:

You can:

-Burn them
-Cut them up and use them as dusters (free dusters are always handy)
-draw all over Nigel’s stupid face with a marker pen
-Hang it over a dart board
-Run it over repeatedly with your car
-Wipe your arse with it and send it back to the UKIPs


And many, many other uses. Apart from wearing it (unless it’s been well graffitied up)

So, just make yourself a fake email address, sign up for the free T-shirt. Here is the link, I never thought I would actually be posting a link directly to UKIPs but to be honest the site sounds like the name of a sex club.


If any of you wonderful people do order a UKIPs T-shirt we would love for you to send in photos of what you do with it after. Perhaps there will even be a prize!

About DukeofEarl (74 Articles)
Co-founder and author for The Shonk. Site administrator and general human.

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