Blah Blah:

Richard Littlejohn never went to a birthday party

because he's an arsehole who picks on people

Richard Littlejohn (the surname might be to pre-warn any potential dates) writes for the Mail Online. That alone should give you an idea of what kind of chap he is, what little ‘open-mindedness’ he has is nothing more than a safety buffer to stop him from being bricked to death by anyone who has an IQ of a house brick of higher.

Why has Richard pissed me off today? Well he churned up this article recently where he can’t seem to decide whether or not dressing up is a British thing (because Britain invented EVERYTHING) or whether it’s a fucking stupid concept so MUST be an American thing (because America invented everything that Richard Littlejohn doesn’t want us to have invented).

I like how he thinks that his lovable ignorance makes everything okay. “I thought that Cosplay was just a band lol” – If that is the case Richard then perhaps journalism isn’t for you. I don’t expect you to know everything that is going on in the world but fuck me Richard, cosplay isn’t a new or recent phenomenon. It’s been around for quite some time and like so many things it’s quite unavoidable in the modern world. Not unavoidable in the sense that you pop out to the zoo one day but accidentally find yourself driving through ComicCon wondering how you just got there, I mean unavoidable because we see it on telly, films, we read about it (Richard doesn’t read, he just listens to old music and makes his assumptions from that) and so I am having a hard time believing you Richard when you say that you were up until recently ‘unaware’ of what cosplay was. Again, maybe get a new job.

So anyway, he decided to take the piss out of a group of people dressed in cosplay gear, this was the photograph he used. I didn’t ask for permission to use it because like Richard I’m going to assume that ‘permission’ was that thing we had back in school, back in the day, remember, like when cosplay was a band? Remember that? Permission was just a thing in school, so yeah, don’t need it.


Originally he had attempted to write a piece that was intended to applaud the wonderful world of cosplay but given that Richard had a hard time deciding whether or not it was a British past-time he also seemed to struggle to avoid making hateful comments – Typical Mail writer issue, they just can’t help but be fucking nasty.

One of his earlier remarks in his article: ‘They’ve obviously gone to a great deal of trouble. I especially like the woman who appears to have a tattoo of Elvis peeping over the top of her thigh-length boot” Okay, this one is kind of neutral, though you haven’t really said anything. Stating ‘they must have gone to a lot of trouble’ is neither applauding or insulting the act of cosplay, it says nothing. He follows that up with the tattoo remark which again is fucking irrelevant to the point of his entire article. The tattoo remark is also the point where Richard begins to crumble, realising that he is a knuckle-dragging cave brute that only got his job at The Mail because he actually consumed the previous employee. It is the point where he knows he can’t bring it back, he can’t save the article or himself so he just has to come out with: ‘The one in the Doc Martens seems to have modelled herself on the celebrity writer Caitlin Moran. Or, perhaps, Caitlyn Jenner.

Woah now Richard! Just take a fucking step back. What the fuck does this mean? What are you saying? I know that you’re trying to insult someone but I can’t tell who. I think that what Richard’s thick mind has set out to do is basically say “I think the one on the right is ugly, I can’t say that so I’ll make a crude comment about her looking like Caitlyn Jenner because people will understand the reference to Caitlyn Jenner previously being male, which implies that I think that she looks like a man. But, to stop people from accusing me of that, I’ll make a Caitlyn Moran reference either because A: Caitlyn Moran is considered attractive, B: You genuinely think that someone went to Cosplay dressed as Caitlyn Moran or C: Caitlyn Moran was the only other famous Caitlyn that you could think of. I will admit that I know very little about Caitlyn Jenner but what I do know is that she is being regarded as a very courageous person in the current media, I understand her origins and I think at a time of great positive movement in terms of full marriage legalisation and acceptance of people’s proclivities she is indeed a very courageous woman to get up there and talk about her experience. So why, if you are, which I think you are are you trying to twist that into an insult about cosplay? Eurgh, I could rant about this more…so I will…

Either way Richard, what you have said there is insulting and the very structure of that statement is designed specifically to insult someone. Fair play you’ve used some sneaky, manipulative means of semantics there but you are being a hurtful cunt and to be surprised that you started getting lots of emails saying that you have been hurtful and offensive makes you a thick cunt.
Dressing up is not a substitute for having a sense of humour, being a twat means that people will react to you. The reason why people have their photos taken at events is because yes, they went to a lot of effort to make the costume and they want to document the day. If they want to post that photo online it is up to them, it’s for other cosplay enthusiasts to remark upon, not for small minded bigoted fuck twats from the Mail Online. Don’t be throwing your toys out of the pram because you’ve been identified as a knob.

Note how my writing has the courage of its convictions, I’m being really straight with you here Richard, if anything I am helping you. You need to understand that pleading ignorance and throwing out a couple of backhanders is not journalism, it’s sloppy hate bilge at best. If you think that Cosplay people are a bunch of dumb fuckers who waste their money then COME OUT AND SAY IT. Otherwise, stick to your original idea which was to promote and applaud the concept of cosplay.

Christ, I just want to bang my head against a fucking wall, what is it with you Mail Online writers? Why do you have to be such major dicks? Is it in your contract? Do they threaten to kidnap your mum if you say nice things? I honestly don’t know…

…I hope you take this on board Richard because right now a lot of people are pissed off at you and rightly so. We are living in a time of misery, austerity, poverty, corruption and overall doom so we certainly don’t need idiots like you ruining what small avenues of fun people can find.

And please, go a cosplay event, you must have a favourite character from Star Wars or something, go get a costume and go have fun. Until then, don’t write about stuff you know nothing about.

Cosplay is about becoming a character for a day, embracing the character and escapism. It’s about socialising with like minded individuals, recreating scenes, respecting and cherishing childhood heroes, keeping stories and characters alive, you might think it’s nerdy and a major geekfest and yeah it usually is and you’ll find me right there in the middle, but fucking right, let people geek out, for too long there has been a major stigma of ‘intelligent’ and ‘geeky’ people being into comics, sci-fi, video games and cosplay. They’re all awesome things to be into and if being stereotyped as geeky, smart, or nerdy is considered negative then things are waaaaay more fucked up than I thought.


Dukeofearl for The Shonk


Duke of Earl considers Cosplay awesome.

About DukeofEarl (74 Articles)
Co-founder and author for The Shonk. Site administrator and general human.

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