Blah Blah:

We are Living In A Material World

Anne Robinson program pisses me off...

So the other night I caught a bit of that program on the telly with Ann Robinson about money and how people choose to spend it. I wish I hadn’t seen it now because all it did was piss me off. A lot of television shows piss me off and more often than not their main focus is money. Beautiful, stinking, filthy, fucking money. The inescapable currency of unified entrapment. It’s the universal language of planet Earth and most of us can’t afford to speak it.

So, the telly program – The first thing we got to see (or at least what I got to see as it had already started) was Ann have a tour of some blokes massive house in Mayfair. A £90 million property that looked like an exquisite hotel. But that was just it, it looked like a hotel, there wasn’t one iota of this guy’s personality in there. Maybe his personality resembles the interior of a hotel, who am I to judge? But when Ann asks the guy if he’s happy he just stares at her, like he doesn’t understand the question. Then he says “Well I never really factored that in to be honest”. So what does that leave? If he never found happiness whilst building his soulless mansion or collecting coats why did be continue? What do you do once you’ve bought everything that you want? Anyway, my gripe wasn’t really with him.

The bit that came on next showed two families on different ends of the financial spectrum. That being said the ‘low earning family’ brought in an annual income of more than double the household income my parent’s ever had. The second family were higher earners, somewhere around the £100k mark. For the sake of ease we’ll refer to them as the poor family and the rich family. Both families had children, the poor family had two and a baby (I think) and the rich family had a daughter or two.

The first thing we saw was the rich mum going through an itemised list of what the poor family spent their money on in a month. She was absolutely blown away at the fact that they spent on average £400 a year on Christmas in its entirety. She even exclaims that her daughter’s Apple laptop cost more than the poor families Christmas. You can’t put a price on priorities kids.

To be honest the only thing that the poor family seemed to spend too much on was takeaway meals, totally £80 a month. We all know that they’re not particularly healthy and they are expensive, but the list didn’t seem to have any other vices on it. The parents didn’t go out a lot and when they did it was often to car boot sales. They took the rich mum to a car boot sale to share the experience and all she wanted to do the entire time was vomit into the faces of children in disgust. She fucking hated the car boot sale, honestly how can anyone not like a car boot? Naturally the poor family couldn’t work out what her issue was, she made claims that buying second hand was unacceptable and everything there was junk. So it was time to see how she lived.

This is where I get pissed off; Rich family took poor mum to a department store where they decided to shop for handbags. Poor mum was overwhelmed by the fact that the cheapest handbag was almost £300. She unassumingly told the rich family that she had bought her handbag for £10 and if she ever came to own a £300 handbag she would never take it out of the house. Rich mum explained that if she had a £10 handbag she would never take that out of the house.

She then went on to say something along the lines of “The thing is, people make their first impression of you in the first few seconds of meeting you so what I like to do is wait for them to do that then I get out my bag and then they’re like ‘ooh, I was wrong about her'” – Yeah, they were wrong about you. If anything, I’m sure that they probably liked you more before you felt the need to pull out your over priced peel of dead cow that’s been hand stitched by a four year old in some factory. What an absurdly shallow thing to say. Rich mum bought the bag and then, THEN took her little pre-teen daughter over to the sun glasses and bought her daughter a £265 pair of shades because little pre-teen daughter wasn’t fussed on the ones she bought the week before! WHAT THE FUCK!

I don’t really care what anyone spends their money on. Your money is your money, my money is mine but there comes a time when you have to slap someone around the face for buying stupidly priced shit ALL OF THE TIME. Especially for your little pre-teen daughter who is destined for a bad time in life if you continue to raise her that way. If the expensive thing you buy last week doesn’t satisfy you, if it doesn’t fill that little hole in your life that you thought it might have filled DONT BUY A-FUCKING-NOTHER ONE!

Back at Rich families’ house poor mum tells rich parents about her experience of the day and explains how material things aren’t the be all and end all in their household. Rich parents then turn around and tell her that by saying ‘no’ to her daughter and by not letting her have ridiculously expensive overpriced shit she will ‘break her little girl’s heart’ (their words).

What a load of absolute bollocks and shit. If my mum ever said “oh I must buy this £500 thing for my son or his little heart would break” I expect the £500 thing to be some sort of Sonic Heart Mending technology to fix my LITERALLY breaking heart. Fucking hell, if I had a child and they swore to hate me if I didn’t buy them an Xbox I would beat them to death with a fucking Atari. The irony would be lost on them.

The rich mum’s attitude was shit. She was doing nothing for her daughters but show them that all you needed to do was find yourself a high earning guy who you could train to never speak, a guy who would hand over his credit card at the click of a finger with a big fake smile on his face the entire time. No good will ever come of it but what’ll probably happen is little pre-teen will grow up to be just like her mother. Another fucking bimbo who spends money that isn’t theirs on shit they don’t need to destroy the children that they created.


About DukeofEarl (74 Articles)
Co-founder and author for The Shonk. Site administrator and general human.

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