When you think about it, are we not all The Shonk? Do we not all embrace the embodiment of collective thinking, mutual appreciation and enjoyment of music? Are we not all one?
In the great oneness of it all, yes we are one (hence the name) but on an employment level, no you are not The Shonk. But our dedicated team of administrators, data miners, sales managers, legal moles and tea-lady sustain the core group of this great organisation who, let us remind ourselves was summoned into existence by The Great John Shonk, our glorious overseer!
The Great John Shonk
The 27th overseer of The Shonk, a direct descendant of the One-True Shonk whom, as per our histree famously documented the feelings he experienced whilst listening to a Lyre player. John Jenks Shonk’s father Theodore Established Shonk bestowed upon his son John the powerful title of Overseer when he decided he’d like to spend more time on his allotment. Theodore was disavowed for breaching his oath to his families’ long-standing organisation and has never been seen since. John Shonk took the oath and in addition, vowed never to follow in his father’s foot-steps and to avoid allotments at all costs. He permanently resides in the penthouse of Shonk Towers and uses a series of vacuum tubes to send instructions to…
Appointed by The Great John-Shonk, Arbiter Titan carries with him the full weight of responsibility for this great organisation. He represents the ethos and fundamental reasons for the existence of The Shonk and he accepts fully that how others perceive him is tantamount to our great reputation as a Holistic Music Journalism agency. Often accompanying assigned journalists to gigs Arbiter Titan likes to maintains a tight ship with regular inspections of words and sounds.
When The Shonk fell victim to the dismal corporate takeover in 2009, the then Agent Y of the failed Shonk tabloid was reluctantly brought on board as a member of The Shonk team that rose from the ashes and re-established the true roots of our organisation. DukeOfEarl rose through the ranks and was briefly appointed Arbiter. This was short lived as DukeOfEarl steered The Shonk back into another corporate takeover which saw the organisation spiral once again into the world of politics. Our great overseer demoted DukeofEarl but was reluctant to let him leave given his passionate dedication. Now Duke maintains his rank as a lowly journalist for the organisation he once dominated and he loves it.
Little is known about Asian Allan, his attendance is sporadic and he is often under the influence of some sort of chemically altering substance that interferes with his brainmind. According to Shonk records there is nothing to suggest that he actually works here or that he ever did, there’s no mention of him in any file and no one in the entire building claims to have ever told him our address. It’s a real mystery.
A new addition to the team, Lady Midday is as passionate about music as she is lethargic about actually writing anything down. Recent Sass member of the month winner.
An occasional contributor, like an occasional table but human. John was the person who came to stock our vending machines in the canteen and he once remarked on the music being played during allocated lunch time. His eloquent use of words and things was enough for Arbiter Titan to offer him a work experience role. Originally he declined but when he was fired from his job as vending machine man for procrastinating he seized the opportunity.
Magical Marc is our guide and protector during city based visits, namely The London. His ability to show up from nowhere and safely guide us through the throngs of urbanised folk and borisbicyclists has been a source of great comfort and security to those lucky enough to attend The London excursions. Little is known about him, he is a friend of The Arbiter’s and may even operate within a rival agency, however our mutual love of music compels us to work together.
The Shoracle is our resident artist / prophesier, when she’s not in her art studio attempting to kill us with spray paint fumes that she allows to loom through The Shonk’s ventilation system she is whispering into our ears via the intercom ‘listen to this band, check these guys out and ‘this is the area of the saxophone’ – She terrifies the interns with her overwhelming smell of patchouli oil , magical rock, loud hair and unpredictable lectures on how to dress for work. However, she is seldom, in fact never wrong with her predictions and her art is absolutely amazing.